Im getting tired and tired by day. This years marks our 6 years of being married and man i have learned ALOT. Funny part was everyone thought that after being married to the person who you love most was easy and funny enough its not.

The challenges, the roller coaster rides, the bump the hurdles, the wholes, the cracks the pieces that kind of fell off. Ahhh many more, I sometimes wonder how do people actually go through those years being together and dealing with stuffs that plays with your heart and mind. The egos aihhh.

Kadang tu mcm nak give up je but i know i can, its just a small matter but sometimes tu mcm eh sakit nya lah geram nya lah. Penat, hari hari routine sama je, mcm tu jugak, and kadang tu mcm it can go beyond your your expectations.

Demi anak anak, i will and i wil never ever lose hope and always staying strong for them.

“ I found myself in a shit position. “

thehopefulquotes:

“I know this transformation is painful, but you’re not falling apart; you’re just falling into something different, with a new capacity to be beautiful.”

— William C. Hannan

I really dont understand this family of mine, bila nak benda baru sda and help around kalau tak mcm takda kepentingan. Bapak aku pun sama, yang tu lagi lah tak faham. Skrng ni serious tak faham. Bila susah baru cari family, kalau tak susah batang hidung tk nampak.

Mak aku ni pulak selagi tak ikut cara dia, bebel lah cakap mcm takda insurance. Padahal dah buat dah, but ye lah tak rehat lg. so bila buat half way lepas tu kata mcm kita ni tak buat apa and now dia nak kata mcm its not fair forme sbb ye lah aku tgh pantang tak boleh keluar but my husband ajak prgi rumah sana lah semua. I know my limit, i will say i dont want to go. But she has no rights tau, i hope lepas habis pantang ni dia boleh hadap lah yang i have another family the other side sana. Kadang mimik muka dia tak boleh cover langsung tu, tu yang bahaya tu.

I just don’t understand. Kesian dekat husband aku ni, banyak tolong family aku ni tapi ye lah, kadang kita buat mcm mcm mana org nampak kan and it’ll never be enough for people. Its really really tiring. Sbb tu aku selalu kerah laki aku ni i want to have my own house. Penat bila duduk dengan parents sendiri, or even inlaws. Because nak puaskan hati orang ni takkan pernah cukup. Haih.

Harini memang aku nk luah benda benda ni je lah. Letih gila rasa

My mental is just so exhausted, i became extra extra sleepy all the time.

thoughtkick:

“When you’re struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it’s just as hard as what you’re going through.”

— Nicholas Sparks

Orang lain pun ada struggles dia, i know. This time punya pregnancy, check up semua aku yang bayar. Rasa mcm sedih, ingat husband boleh tanggung. Nak tuntut pun rasa bersalah, nak mengadu pun tk tahu kat siapa. Rasa mcm sedih, dah janji mula mula kata dia bayar utk beranak. Aku paling takut sbb takut nanti last last menceceh ceceh cari duit. Yang pinjam duit pun semua tk boleh nak ganti, especially family. Bila mintak kata lain. YaAllah, tak tahu dah nak mengadu dekat siapa. Dah terbalik kot dah, aku yang bg duit semua. Cari duit nasib baik haritu dapat simpan lebih, last last smpai licin sbb semua aku yang kena keluar duit. Aku kesian dekat suami aku ni tapi rasa mcm bila dia cakap smthng tu skrng kata nak bg balik semua mcm susah nak percaya, yaAllah kenapa lah smpai mcm ni. Nak nangis pun penat dah.

Sebab tu dulu kata tak ready lagi, benda benda ni lah tak ready. Hopefully ada rezeki untuk adik, membesar dengan sihat, dan sempurna inshaAllah. Tak mintak banyak, takpa lah mana mummy boleh usaha untuk anak anak mummy. Mummy bolehkan, mummy dulu pun pernah rasa susah, mummy tak nak anak anak mummy hidup susah. Atleast bila sakit ke, studies ke mesti nak yang terbaik. Mummy akan buat apa yang boleh. Mummy tak nak harap apa apa dekat siapa siapa dah, mummy kena kerja lebih kuat lepas ni inshaAllah. Semoga Allah berkati semuanya utk anak anak mummy. Semoga Anak anak mummy membersar dengan sihat dan berjaya, dunia akhirat.

Mummy penat dah nak harap kat orang. Nak tunggu orang. Sekarang aku mintak duit kat suami pun aku rasa guilty. Dia nak keluar ke apa aku yg risau kot dia takda duit. Dia takda pun nak tanya bb ada duit tak? Nak beli tu ke ni ke. Kadang sedih tapi kutelan kan je. Ni nak beranak ni aku tawakal je lah , tak tahu lah nak kata apa dah. Aku berserah je semuanya kat Allah 🥺🤲🏻

Esok birthday, tak rasa apa dah 😞

Down gila rasa harini yaAllah, mental mcm penat gila. Badan dah mcm tak larat. Adik pulak mcm gerak tapi tak tendang tendang. Risau. Lepas tu nak makan boat noodles, laki balik lambat. Anak kerja buat sepah, guilty anak tak makan lagi, makan tah pape. Diri sendiri mengandung pun nak masak tak larat yaAllah. Mcm tak tentu arah rasa. Allah je yang tahu, Allah takkan uji seseorang tu melebihi daya dia. Takpa lah, Allah nak suruh aku ingat dekat dia. Lapar gila ni sbnrnya. Penat tunggu orang, lapar, kesian dekat anak. Rumah sepah, takda org nak tolong. MashaAllah berikan lah aku kekuatan yaAllah. Adik, tahan sikit ok sayang. Sikit je lagi, lepas tu adik keluar lah 😞🤍🤲🏻

rains-of-words:

“How many times do we have to die in order to feel alive?”

— “And I’ve died a thousand times”, anastasiasyah
(via anastasiasyah)

amargedom:

“The best people all have some kind of scar.”

—

I hate how people can be so bossy around other people / to their child. Sheesh i hate it

I pray nothing but the best for you old folk. You have no rights to say things like that. He has the authorities to whatever he decides to do. I learnt so much from you, but i say nothing because i chose not to. Dont test someone’s limit. You wouldn’t want to be in the same shoes right? I’ll pray for you, tuhan je tahu tau. Apa yang kau buat kat menantu menantu kau. Bergurau kasar, jangan kata siapa suruh orang tu tak boleh nak bergurau. Theres a fucking limit, kalau orang tu terasa tuhan je yang tentukan. Doesn’t mean kau bapak kau boleh cakap ikut sedap. No, semua pun nabi dah ajar utk cakap tu elok elok. No such thing as levels.